More sicknesses (unfortunately)

I spend a lot of time and lying in bed waiting for a headache to go away, or sitting around with ice on some joint or muscle waiting for it to stop hurting, and my days are long, long, long. I need to put ice on my swollen days. My days are so swollen and long that even if I die by the time I'm 40, I will have lived at least three lifetimes.

When I was young my dad tried to teach me how there's no such thing as fair. The part he left out was, there's no such thing as fair because fair was a little doe eyed creature that got gobbled up by a terrible hideous monster called not-fair. Fair is being slowly digested by not - fair's intestinal juices.

So many people want to know so much about me, and yet so little. It is very misguided to want to eradicate disease, because I am disease, and so I paid good money to people who try to eradicate me. They can't separate me and my body, even though they try, by jamming chemicals in between us.

I am not one of those people who will tell you all about how being sick has taught them all these amazing things. I will say that being sick sucks, and that it is the opposite of anything positive and uplifting, it is what I have to push and push against every single day to stay positive and uplifted, and so maybe if my sickness were suddenly pulled out from under me I would fall over, and blink a few times, but then I would get up, and go do things.

My bird is my carbon-based companion, my diploid darling. He is a precious patch of protein synthesis, a sweet, sweet song of sentience.

Good is too stupid to be God. And so God is scarier than Satan, because evil at least shows intent, but God is so, so indifferent, so vast and indifferent. And so, beware of Satan, but fuck God, because we all die anyway, and that too soon. Be good, be stupid, be smart, be bad, and then be none.